


Do It For the 'Gram

by gettinyinggywithit



Category: Gintama
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24043879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gettinyinggywithit/pseuds/gettinyinggywithit
Summary: Damn you and your deep V-neck tops. — Gintoki and his IG thirst traps
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 10
Kudos: 64





	Do It For the 'Gram

"Gin-chan," Kagura garbles around the seaweed snack in her mouth, "what are you trying to _do_?"

They are all minding their business in their corners of the meeting room of Odd Jobs. Gintoki is behind the desk, picking his nose and flipping through a _JUMP_ ; Shinpachi is going through their monthly budget again ("How can we have nothing left? _Nothing_?"); Kagura has been snacking and scrolling through her phone.

Now she raises the screen in Gintoki's direction, her face less than amused. "Explain yourself."

Shinpachi peers around to see what's going on and sees an Instagram photo: Gintoki in a dessert cafe, typical, but with his already low V-neck unzipped further, showing a very firm, muscular chest and —

"Is that—" Shinpachi starts, his face a deep, deep red—

"—Ice cream dripping between your manboobs in this picture?" Kagura finishes for him, deadpan.

Behind the desk, Gintoki has the audacity to remain composed. Shinpachi feels a vein throbbing in his temple; Kagura is just staring. For a moment, there is silence.

"I dropped some parfait on my shirt while eating," he says as explanation.

"—There wasn't any ice cream on your shirt, you idiot!" Shinpachi cries, grabbing the phone and scrolling through the Instagram account. "Nor is there any chocolate sauce on your clothes, here, just all over your— your _ass cheeks_ —? And, here, nope, no food on your clothes here, just a cherry stem tied in a knot in your wide open mouth—"

"—Gin-chan, when have you been eating all these desserts," Kagura demands, still deadpan. "Have you been sneaking off and not taking me with you." Her question comes as a statement, and Shinpachi rounds on her, still shouting.

"Kagura-chan! That is not the matter at hand! Gin-san, what are you doing putting such filth out there for the entire world to see—?"

"Oi, oi, Shinpachi-kun, don't be so loud in the morning," Gintoki says a little irritably. "I don't see what the big deal is, anyway—"

"The big deal!" Shinpachi roars. "What—what if a young _girl_ saw these? What are you trying to put in the youths' heads? Kagura-chan uses this application!" He gestures wildly toward the girl sitting hunched on the couch, still working away at her seaweed snack.

Gintoki waves his hands carelessly. "Ay," he sighs, "a grown adult man should be allowed—"

"—to do what, betray his Yato daughter and go off eating ice cream by himself," Kagura interrupts, still looking utterly annoyed.

Shinpachi wants to wring both their necks. "How can you be so calm about this, Kagura-chan?" he says. "Gin-san is out here flaunting his body and corrupting the youth of Edo, and all you care about is the food?"

Kagura shrugs, barely meeting his eyes. "Gin-chan should attract a mate sometime, I guess."

Shinpachi shakes, throwing his hands up in the air and storming off. "What woman will be attracted to this!"

Kagura and Gintoki's eyes meet. A notification sound goes off. It is Gintoki's phone this time. In another part of Edo, a very enraged and horny Shinsengumi Vice-Captain slides into his DM's.

.

.

 _Fin_.

Thank you.


End file.
